A List of Lists That I Would Totally Read

I read this list on Hellogiggles titled “10 Fun Careers That Don’t Feel Like Work”, and I thought it was fairly awful. It sprinkled some cheery optimism on top of a poorly thought out premise then presented it to the reader as another useless bit of internet fluff to add to clouds of nothing floating about the blogosphere these days.

Not, that I get pleasure in ripping apart articles posted by more successful bloggers than myself… I mean, I do…   but it’s not only that. This list has seriously irked me.

Perhaps it’s because the title of the list would have been more accurate if she had called it “jobs that seem like fun when they are depicted by actors in television and movies”.  Or perhaps it’s because, when I click on a link to see jobs that might be enjoyable to work at, I’d like the list maker to provide more reasonable options than “become a television writer or a diplomat.” But most likely of all, I’m irked because I’m mad at myself for falling into the trap of the internet list.

I knew full well that I wouldn’t find the secret to a happy and profitable career on that list. But I fell for it, like the pathetic slave to viral marketing I am. Sure, this Hellogiggles list had virtually no informative value. Sure, it glossed over all the difficulties of the real life job market. Sure, it furthered the infuriating romanticization of the baking industry. But I clicked on that list and I read it, I read it all.

I don’t resent this woman’s terrible list. I understand why she did it. For bloggers who perhaps have been putting off writing till the very last second and have absolutely no idea what to write about this week, lists can be a godsend. They require the least amount of work and receive the largest amount traffic. Think about it, which links do you click the most? List, of course list. You don’t want to be reading this paragraph, you want to be reading a lovely numbered list.  Lists are like candy, pleasant, quick to consume, and not overly filling. I know that if the title is tempting enough I’m going to click on a list because it’s not a commitment. I’ll be done with it sooner than a real article, and that way I have more time to move on to more lists.

Basically they’re just easy. List are a symbiosis of laziness shared by the blogger and the reader, each of us enjoying breezing through the bold bullet points, feeling like we’re accomplishing something.

In light of all that, here’s a list:

A List of Lists That I Would Totally Read

  1. Top Ten Historical Weirdos
  2. Movies that actors almost stared in but didn’t actually star in
  3. Craziest members of royal families
  4. Books that Bill Murray likes
  5. 7 Horrible accidents caused by cheese
  6. The endings to shows you don’t actually want to watch but still kind of want to know what happened
  7. Unbelievable things that you totally can’t believe
  8. 234 reasons Doctor Who Rules
  9. 20 ways that beer, pasta, and sleeping all day is good for you
  10.  A bunch of pictures of celebrities with their dogs
  11. A list of people whose name sounds like ‘list’ other than Franz Liszt
  12. 75 reasons why everyone you hate is stupid and you’re the smartest
  13. Top 40 best animals to put hats on
  14. Quotes that make you feel good about life and stuff
  15. A list of ideas for your list of lists, list list list list list
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