J. E. Hannon-Cropp (known to her friends as Optimus) is a resident of Texas and consequently a member of the National Rifle Association. Hannon-Cropp, who earned a B.A. in Kicking Butt with a minor in Taking Names from the University of You Wish You Were That Cool, has a tendency to over compensate for her low self-esteem via the use of unsubtle humor. Her hobbies include, not having any hobbies and rhythmic gymnastics. She is a Capricorn and occasionally enjoys a nice glass of a sweet white wine, such as a Riesling or a Sauvignon Blanc. She currently resides in Dallas with her husband, John, her dog, Rosie, her cat, Mr. Anderson, and the restless spirits of thirteen Native American Chiefs all of whom are thirsty for vengeance, except for the cat who really couldn’t give a fuck about it.